Dear Santa: A late Christmas plea

09th January 2021. 03:47am

The table last New Year’s Eve, when shit was happening at home. Yup. I ate alone on the first hour of 2021.

Date written: 05th December, 2020. 02:31am

Dear Santa,

First of all let me just say thank you because I have been mentally okay this year. While this year has been really hard on everyone in the world because of COVID-19, I am still grateful that me and my family are okay and healthy, so thank you for that.

To be completely honest, Santa, I don’t know what I want for Christmas. I never do. I know you already know that. Ever since Mom passed away, Christmas has never been my favorite holiday. Sure, I like decorating the tree, but it was never the same. Especially since I’ve been left alone at home with dad, celebrating Christmas has never been the same. It felt lonely, even though I wasn’t exactly alone every year.

I wish I could tell you every single thing that happened to me this year, Santa, but I’m pretty sure you already know the shit I went through this year. Don’t get me wrong, it was better than last year, but it was still challenging. It was eye-opening. However, I wanted to say thank you because I think I’m much braver this year. I’m also grateful for your reindeers and elves that are helping me to work harder. Thank you, Santa. I appreciate that a lot.

Santa, could you please do me a favor? Continue reading

Breaking Point

09th January, 2021. 03:11am

Photo c/o: pinterest

I’m tired. I am so fucking tired of pretending everything is okay. I tried to act as if they don’t exist, but I can’t take it anymore. I’m angry. I’m so angry that here I am, in the living room, blogging at three in the fucking morning because I want them to see my face when they wake up in a few hours. I’m honestly surprised this is all I’m doing right now.

Continue reading