14th February, 2017. 2:03pm
It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re at home, working your ass off. You did not go out today because there’s no reason to, and also because you hate that the streets and restaurants are so crowded during this day. Valentine’s Day chaos never pleases you, even when you felt like you’re in love with someone at that moment. Remember one Valentine’s Day when you and your siblings went out on a date? It took you four fucking hours to find a restaurant to have a dinner at and you can’t find any because every other restaurants in town are full. You ended up at a pizza place because that’s the only one available at 12:30am. After that year, you and your siblings decided to skip Valentine’s Day.
As I was writing this I was listening to “If You Go” by Javier Dunn ft. Sara Bareilles, and then “Manhattan” by Sara Bareilles. Why, I have no idea, but you’ve always liked torturing yourself by listening to songs that makes you more sad. In this case, it’s Javier and Sara’s then relationship. They were so good together but it still saddens you that they had to breakup because of their respective careers. But enough of other people’s relationship. Let’s talk about yours.
Oh, right. You don’t have one. It’s funny how you’re still not in a relationship right now. You’ve been chatting up with different men for the past two years but none come into fruition. I’m pretty sure right now you’re starting to wonder whether the problem was because of Dad or you. Right now you’re starting to question what’s wrong with you that you can’t find the right person, and whether there’s actually someone out there meant for you. You also start wondering if any of those assholes in your past was supposed to be the one for you and you just missed that opportunity. You were supposed to write a story about this feeling, but you haven’t had the right inspiration to start the story just yet. I do hope that by the time I reread this, you’ve already started. Come on, girl, that story has a potential!
But let me tell you why you’re still single. Now, don’t you dare raise that eyebrow. I can literally see you raising that as I’m typing this. The reason why you’re still single is because you’re too fucking afraid. No, you don’t have to “lower your standards” like what some bitch from your high school told you. What you need to do, though, is stop being so afraid of how things will turn out and just go with the flow. No, you don’t have to go out with every guy that asks you out (and good job on filtering those assholes, btw) but come on, girl, LIVE A FUCKING LITTLE. It’s okay to have fun with someone every now and then. Stop listening to “When He Sees Me” and start singing “Bad Idea.” You could really use a pretty good bad idea right now. Like, seriously.
A couple of weeks ago you met someone on Tinder who’s really, and I mean REALLY handsome. You can’t believe he super liked you because look at how gorgeous he is? Plus, you’re both on the same page so you thought your prayers have finally been answered! But, alas, he’s off the radar right now and you’re secretly hoping he’d resurfaced again so you two can talk some more. However, with the way things are going, it seemed that he’s busy jacking up someone else so you questioned yourself again. Too bad. You’d really make a cute couple.
Also, about two weeks ago, someone messaged you on Facebook that turns out to be the very same guy your sister and her husband was trying to pair you up with. He’s okay, but not your type. Also, knowing that makes you feel uncomfortable and pressured to be nice to him and accommodate him for their sake even though you’re really not into this guy. There’s just nothing in common between you two and nothing to talk about.
And remember that one fair in high school when they had those wedding booths? You hid inside the dance room because you don’t want those students to handcuff you with the guy who was into you? That was such a dick move. You could’ve been together by now. Or not, but you know what I mean.
Finally, and most importantly, stop pinning for those two assholes from your past because you’ll never have them. I know you’ve “moved on” but you’re still thinking about them sometimes. STOP. Just fucking stop. You won’t find the one that’s meant for you when you’re still carrying a torch for someone else. It might not seem like it right now, but there are other people pinning for you, too. Look elsewhere. Step out of your comfort zone and try not to prejudge things before shit hit the fan. You’ll be surprised how things might turn out.
See, the thing is, you just don’t take risks. Try it, sister. It’s fun. Besides, you’re not 18 anymore. You gotta think about them egg cells. THEY’VE BEEN WAITING TO FIND THEIR DADDY FOR YEARS!!!
It’s a pity that you had to stay at home on Valentine’s Day. Don’t deny it, sister. You know you secretly wanted to celebrate it despite you constantly deluding yourself that you don’t give a rat’s ass about this day. You kept praying to finally find the right person meant for you but, see, the thing is, you won’t find him unless you get up, dress up, and head on out.
And that, my dear, is why you’re 31 and still single. YOU’RE WELCOME.