02nd November, 2015. 3:58pm
**(Written 30th October, 2015. 12:02am) Before I share my post, allow me to first apologize for not publishing this last week. I was so busy I didn’t notice I have written blog entries that I haven’t published yet.
How is everyone? I hope you all are doing alright, and I’m sorry if I haven’t published anything since last week. I’ve just been busy trying to catch up with work.
Since writing workshops ended, I’ve had more time to work, which is great because I actually get to finish all of every day’s work. Also, I noticed that, now that writing courses are over, my show notes improved; I don’t have to go back and listen to my own recording, finishing the article an hour earlier than I used to. I don’t know how long I can keep that up, but I hope I could. It feels so great to finish my article with more than enough time to spare.
Speaking of spare time, another reason why I’m MIA here is because I’ve just started reading Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl today. After reading her other novel, Sharp Objects, as well as Katherine Ewell’s Dear Killer, I noticed that my mind is on that psycho killer mode so I bought Gone Girl last Sunday even though I have over ten books at home, waiting to be read. I also have been watching several Youtube videos about Psychopathy and Sociopathy. I find it interesting; what goes on in a psychopath and sociopath’s mind. I’ve also been busy watching documentaries about serial killers lately, and found out that our country, the Philippines, ALMOST doesn’t have a serial killer. I found about three names, but none for the last five years, at least. This led me to write my first ever fan fiction to Dear Killer’s sequel. It’s still a work in progress—I just started the other day—but knowing that fact made me want to write more.
Sometimes I’m scared that one day I’ll just go crazy and start lashing out, taking all my anger and frustrations out on the people here at home. I’m no angel, but I ain’t no saint either, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my patience at bay. I need to get out of here. I need to go some where I can be at peace; a place where I don’t have to battle with the demons that surrounds me everyday.
I know I’m not crazy just yet. At least I don’t think I am. But reading and watching things about these serial killers, psychopaths and sociopath makes me wonder if there is a part of me that may trigger it, because I really do enjoy watching and learning about those things. One time, I even Googled about latex gloves and how to clean finger prints. I know. It’s scary. But I was curious. No, I’m not planning to murder someone anytime soon, but I won’t deny the fact that I want to know if whatever I read in my books and/or watched in those documentaries and movies are true.
My mind is filled with murderous thoughts. No, I am not planning on murdering someone anytime soon, but Gone Girl and all these psychological thriller has been fucking my brain for the past two weeks (or has it been three?). It’s all I could ever think of. I want to find more GOOD crime novel and psychological thriller books. I want to know more, it’s becoming an obsession already. It’s amazing how I (think) remain sane despite all these. For 8 hours a day, my eyes are glued to Youtube watching endless videos about serial killers, psychopaths, sociopath, people with Bipolar Disorders, schizophrenic, and all those crazy murders. I read books for extra more hours before going to bed, and an extra two or three hours before starting to work. After all those writing workshops ended, my schedule has been replaced with crime dramas. And I love it. Am I crazy? Am I turning into one of them? I don’t really know, but I hope not.
I am so fascinated with how brilliant this movie is, and I know I’m supposed to hate it because if you’re a fan of the book, there’s just no way that you will also love the film adaptation. But I do. I love both film and the book. Perhaps it was because I saw the film before I read the book, but reading the book after watching it made me understand the story better. I also think that Gillian Flynn did an absolute great job in writing the screenplay, and that is a hard job to do because writing for print is so different from writing a script for a movie. But no, Gillian Flynn wrote it perfectly. I know there were a lot of revisions and a couple of additions, but for me it still made sense. I’m glad she didn’t change the ending, like some people assumed it will be. I liked the messiness of Nick and Amy’s story.
Btw, I shared a video above. Watch it. It’s an interview with Rosamund Pike with a brief commentary of one of her scenes with Neal Patrick Harris. I liked how she explained what was going through Amy’s mind at that scene.
I’m gonna have to bow out now. I have to go back to reading.