12th December 2014. 12:01pm
When we were kids, we used to look forward to Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. It’s when I get to receive all these wonderful presents from different people and attend endless costume parties and Christmas parties and, of course, family reunions. Here in the Philippines, we celebrate Christmas the longest and I used to look forward to it but now that I’m already grown up, well, now I really just shrug Christmas off.
I dread Christmas now.
I’m not a Grinch. I still love the look on my nephew and niece’s faces when they open their gifts. I still love it when I get to give the right gifts for my siblings. This year, though, things just seem… blah.
A few weeks ago, I jokingly told my cousins and siblings that if my sister leaves for the United States before or after Christmas, I wouldn’t put up a tree. She’s not, leaving before or after Christmas, that is. It’s going to take a few more months before she finally settles with her husband. She was supposed to, but there was something they forgot to sign on their papers and all that. It’s sad, because I really want her to be with her husband as soon as possible so they can start their own family. And yes, even if that means leaving me to deal with THEM alone.
That’s why I’m abstaining not just from Christmas gifts, but Christmas itself. I don’t know. I just really don’t feel like Christmas shopping. Usually, during this time of the month, I already know what to give whom even if I have to shop a day or two before Christmas. I always manage to pull things off. These days, however, I still don’t know what to give to people, especially my siblings. I’m just not that excited about this holiday anymore.
I always tell people that the reason why I’m not in a hurry for Christmas was because my sister is leaving, and it’s true. That’s exactly the reason why I’m in no mood to be merry and jolly this Christmas day. It will be our last Christmas together because by next year, things will change big time. Next Christmas, my sister will be celebrating her holidays in a different time zone and city whereas me, well, who knows where I’ll be next year.
Right now, our Christmas tree is still empty and I am in no hurry to fill it up. **I didn’t put it up, okay? My sister did. In fact, I really have no intention to buy Christmas gifts for people other than my siblings and nephew and nieces. Why? Because why are we so hell-bent on giving gifts to people we don’t really feel like giving one? Why would you give a gift to a godson or daughter who doesn’t even know your name when you live only a few houses away from each other? Sometimes, I feel like people ask you to be their kid’s godparents because you’re “rich enough to give my child a nice gift.” Don’t they know what being “godparents” really is? Guess not.
It’s 13 days before Christmas and while my schedule will start to go crazy starting Monday, I’m still not feeling all those Christmas spirit. Now, when I think of Christmas, all I think about is how much I will have to spend for this one day. As I grow older, I realize, is it really giving when deep inside you’re really not up for it? Hmm, guess I was MIA when the angels showered people with Christmas cheer.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next coming days, but whatever it is, I’ll be prepared. I shall. Maybe I’ll feel it when next week comes, or maybe I’ll just be even more grumpy. Whatever is going to happen, I hope your holidays are way better than mine.
Advance Happy Holidays.