01st December, 2014. 3:00pm
NaBloPoMo, Monday, December 1, 2014
What do you do when you’re down to bring yourself a little joy?
Whenever I’m down and weary, there are a few things I do to compose myself and (re)think of my actions—lock myself in my room, tune everyone out and put on some music, and last but definitely not the least, write.
Whether I’m sad or mad or scared, I always find myself crawling back into my own little corner and write it out; on paper, on my iPod, on my phone, on my laptop, anywhere! The important thing is I get to let it all out. It’s the best thing I could do so that I wouldn’t get to hurt other people (verbally and/or physically).
Maybe it has anything to do with my being an introvert, but perhaps I just really don’t like confrontations; if I can avoid it, I would. My patience level is up to a million, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t snap every once in a while.
Which is why people avoid me when I’m mad. I don’t know why. They just do. Sometimes it takes me days before I cool down, but when I started to ignore you, like to the point where you already feels like you’re talking to a wall, that’s when all my patience are out. And the best thing I could do to not try to incinerate you is just avoid your existence. But despite all these, it’s music and writing that gets me through the day. ALL. THE. TIME.
It’s the same thing when I’m down and sad. I write it out first, then listen to some depressing music that would make me even more sad. I know, it’s a cliché, but somehow it makes me feel better. I also try to avoid everyone else, because I don’t wanna suck them in my vortex of negativity. When I’m done making myself feel bad, I’d go out as if nothing’s amiss.
Call me a coward, I don’t care. But if I don’t let it out through writing, I would get mad (*like British mad [as in crazy], not ‘angry’ mad). But putting them into writing and listening to some music does give me a little joy; easing my pain and sorrows even for just a while.