I didn’t ask for this!

16th October, 2014. 12:44pm

Two young boys at lemonade stand

Photo c/o: njfamily.com

This is in response to the Daily Prompt’s Unequal Terms.

Usually, I would have looooong introduction before I go to the point but this time, I’m just gonna say it and rip it like a band aid. This entry (slash rant) is for parents out there. Most specifically, for parents in my country.

In the United States, or any other country, when a kid turns 18 he or she can practically move out of the house and live life independently. When he or she gets married, they can live as far the hell away as possible from their parents. That is not the case here in my home country. When you’re single, you can live at your parent’s home for as long as you want. But when you started having a job, it’s your turn to be the bread winner.

It’s not that I’m complaining about my responsibilities at home, it’s just that I didn’t ask to be born. Why are kids being treated as an insurance? I know that we owe our life to our parents, but why are we being forced to give food to the table and fend for everyone else in the family once we start earning for ourselves? It’s not like some parents are incapacitated to work their asses off. It is simply the reality.

If you’re a parent reading this, answer this question for me, will you? Why did you have a child in the first place? Why are you sending them to school? Is it because you wanted a family or so that someone will feed you and buys you whatever you want when they graduate? Here’s the thing: if a young man or woman who earns money for a living wants to give you a part (or all) of their earnings, they will. You don’t have to force them as if their payrolls are payback to everything you spent on them. Love and family doesn’t work that way. It shouldn’t be.

I told myself that when I have my own kid, they wouldn’t suffer the way I did. Of course I can’t be sure of that. After all, history tends to repeat itself, right? But I promise, and I will do whatever it takes to not make my kid feel as if I brought them in this world as an alternative form of insurance.

And PS: I promise to post my birthday weekend update today. Sorry, yesterday was too busy a day for me.

UPDATE: Thank you for those who liked this post so far. I’ve been re-reading my post since I published it and realized something. I want to take back, no, clear the inequality here. Kids who grew up in the Philippines and are bread winners are not always forced, parents just expect us to do it, which for me, is sadder than being forced to give partial or every bit of the fruits of your labor. It shouldn’t be like that. Giving should be done wholeheartedly.




9 thoughts on “I didn’t ask for this!

  1. I just ought to tell you which you have written an exceptional and distinctive post that I really enjoyed reading. Im fascinated by how nicely you laid out your material and presented your views. Thank you. bkdaakggdebg


  2. Pingback: (Lack of) Equality | It's Mayur Remember?

  3. I have two kids, 33 and 31 years old. Neither contribute to my financial situation. I don’t expect them to nor want them to. Also, I rarely see them. Maybe a couple times a year. Such is the way it is. Interesting to learn about the Philippines though.


    • That’s one of the good things about Filipino families, though. We are such family-oriented people. We may resent it when our parents just expect us to take over the role of bread winner once we started working our asses off, but we have such high respect for elders (and/or perhaps we don’t just have the balls to say it out loud). I’m not saying every families do this, but I’m pretty sure a lot of families do.


  4. I truly liked your post and your heartfelt testimony. I agree with your thinking and hope you will keep your promise to not repeat the same in the future as a parent.
    Different cultures and different costumes. This is all new to me.
    Thanks for sharing and letting us learn about that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! I really hope that when the time comes I have my own family, I could spare them of this crab (or rather, crap) mentality. But first, let me find me a boyfriend first. Haha!



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