11th October, 2014. 5:39am
I’m leaving this post Untitled because I don’t know what title should I give it.
Here I am, at 5:39am, watching some bad romcom and eating taco flavored Doritos and fried noodles, trying to process the messages that came in to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, as well as my texts and iMessage. To be honest I didn’t get a lot of greetings than I used to, but that’s because I turned off the birthday reminder on my Facebook page. It was kind of refreshing, actually, to find out who truly knows my birthday and who really give a shit. And quite surprisingly, I was okay with it. I got the greetings from the people who mattered to me. Some were actually surprising, but I was glad to receive greetings from the people I expected to get it from.
You know, sometimes I feel like my life is a big romcom movie. Except in this movie, there’s no romance and only I was laughing at my own jokes. It’s like a game of tug of war that I just kept losing at. Even when I think I’m going to win, I still ended up losing. I’m 29, what the hell have I been doing with my life? How come I was the last single girl in my circle of friends?
Yikes, wait a minute. Okay, scrap that. Where the hell did that come from? Sorry, that was me being carried away by what I’m watching. In case you’re wondering, it’s Two Night Stand. Okay, wait. What was I saying? I’m not making any sense right now, am I? Yeah, thought so.
Anyway, the point of this post really is that once again, I’m confused. Last night, I received a text from my Rumplestiltskin greeting me happy birthday. It was sweet, actually, and he said that he missed me… TWICE. Why? Is he just being kind or does he really mean that?
Okay, to give you more information about my Rumple, here’s what you have to know:
1. We’ve actually known each other for a few years before we got really close.
2. We got close after, well, he broke up with his ex.
3. When they were still together, I kind of had my eyes set on him already. Okay fine, not kinda. I really did like him.
4. Which is bad, because when we started hanging out and I got to know him better, the more I started liking him more.
5. We got close through Twitter. You know, where that one tweet led to another? Yeah, exactly that.
6. He knows A LOT of things about me. Like, things I wouldn’t normally say to acquaintances. From my family dramas to my love life to my dream of one day writing a book, he knows that.
7. When he told me that he doesn’t want me to fall for him, I didn’t obey him. I mean, how can you stop loving and liking someone when you can’t help it? And finally,
8. Even if he has a new girlfriend now, we still text each other like nothing happened… sometimes for the entire day.
9. When we went out once and watched a movie together, he held my hands and did not release it until we had to part ways when he took me home. Also, he put his hands on my waist on our way home. Do friends do that? I don’t think so.
So again, I’m asking. What the fuck is up with that?! In his text, he said and I quote, “I miss you so much. I’m happy that I met you and thank God that you are part of my life. I miss talking to you.” is he really just being kind and such a nice friend and I’m reading all the signs wrong all this time? Or is there something else behind it? Why do guys do that? WHY?