Dear I’m-Not-Gonna-Say-Your-Name

18th September, 2014. 11:28am

Blogging 101, Day Four: Dream Reader

Today’s Assignment: publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it.

When I read about today’s assignment, my mental light bulb instantly lit up. The good thing is there are actually quite a few people I have in mind that I wanna write an entry for. The bad thing is I can’t choose. Finding out what we’re supposed to do today, I initially thought of someone but then as I finish reading the instructions, my mind starts to drift away and think of someone else.

See, the thing is, for a quiet girl like me, there is so much more that I wanna say. Things that I would never say to these particular people on a normal day, but I know must be said one way or another. So with them in mind, I bare to you, my fellow weirdos, some of the things I’ve been meaning to tell them. If they happen to read this one day, I hope it will help clear the air.

To the most important man in my life:
kiddo

Photo c/o: islam.ru

Many people say that I hate you, but the truth is I don’t. I hate what you are doing to me and my siblings, yes, but I don’t hate you. I’m disappointed at you; for not considering our feelings; for breaking your promise. I know I haven’t been your favorite person in the world for years now, and I avoid you most of the time, but I just want to let you know that whatever happens, always remember that I love you. Even when the day that I would go on my own way would come, keep in mind that you will always have a special place in my heart.

To my Rumplestiltskin:
Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin in Once Upon A Time 4

Photo c/o: TheAngstReport.blogspot.com

You were the first person to make me realize that I can find love again, and I will always be grateful for that. Knowing that you don’t feel the same way as I do hurts like hell, but I’m glad to see that you’re happy. I know I’ve said many times that I will soon be okay and ‘soon’ has never come yet, but don’t worry, I will be. Thank you for making me feel loved and for staying closely far away. When I see you again, I will give you that tight hug I promised you before.

To the one that got away:

Yes, you were the one that got away. I’m sorry for abandoning you when things was starting to get serious between us. I’m sorry if I didn’t fight enough. I’m sorry for breaking your heart and making you hope for nothing. I messed up. I’m sorry.

I know that the chance of us is no longer an option, and that I may never get that forgiveness from you, but I hope that you are happy with whoever it is you’re with right now and that she will love you the way I failed to show you.

To my best friends who doesn’t know they are my best friends:
boys

Photo c/o: DavidKanigan.com

I just wanna say that I’m so glad to have you in my life. We’ve been through so much since what happened 11 years ago and I’m happy that we’re still each other’s anchor. I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever I decide to do with my life, no matter how many friends I meet along the way, wherever we may be, you will always be my top priority. You have no idea about what you taught me; about life, love and friendship. You’re one of the reasons why I’m living, and I thank God for giving you to me.

To my nonexistent partner:

Where are you? I’m here. I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. Find me, please. I’m waiting here but just so you know, I’m not in a hurry. It’s just that I miss you and can’t wait to meet you. I know I should be worried about my body clock, but I don’t care. I’ll wait ’til we find each other. We will find each other.

To my Gurls:
Friendship Over

Photo c/o: SupportInASplit.com

We used to be so close. What happened? I know I may be part to blame for pushing someone off the bus, but what is going on? Why did our friendship get suddenly torn apart? I actually thought we would survive this, even when I decided to change the course of my life, but why do you have to go your own way, too? It’s so sad that we’ve come to this. I know that you two were strangers to each other now, but I hope that someday we would get to sit down at Starbucks once again and laugh all this shit off… just like the old times.

To my unborn child:
Baby

Photo c/o: akdart.com

My dear child, I know we haven’t met but I just wanted to say that if you ever come into my life, I will welcome you with open arms. I will love you with all my heart, teach you everything I know, take care of you, and give my life for you. But most of all, I promise that I will try to not just be the best mother to you, but the best best friend you will ever have. I love you and I can’t wait to see you.

And last but certainly not the least…

To whoever is reading this… IF there’s anyone reading this:

Thank you for taking your time reading this. I don’t know if I aced the assignment, but it doesn’t matter. Knowing that you took a few minutes of your precious time to read this post and check out my blog means so much to me. I never intended for this blog to grow the way it did but I want you to know that it’s all because of YOU. If not for your continuous subscription and views, likes and comments, this blog would probably have stayed hidden in my mind. So thank you, all of you, for listening (err, reading) to my rants and ramblings. You have no idea how you are keeping me sane.

KTHXBYE.

j

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18 thoughts on “Dear I’m-Not-Gonna-Say-Your-Name

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  3. Hey Jhack –You have the natural talent to enter straight in my heart and touch it deeply.
    All these people are privileged to have crossed your life path and I trust they know it. You are a precious person with an amazing sensitivity as well as a loving and generous heart. I am happy to have met you here.
    The non-existent-partner and unborn-child can’t wait to meet you…
    Hugs and love from Amsterdam.
    L

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. I absolutely loved it….it captured my attention, drew me in and I found I couldn’t wait to see who you were writing to next. I accidentally/on purpose happened to write a To/From myself today before I read the assignment, now I’ll work on the embedding….the words you wrote beow jumped out at me…
    “I know I’ve said many times that I will soon be okay and soon has never come yet, but don’t worry, I will be. Thank you for making me feel loved and for staying closely far away..”

    Thank you for echoing my exact thoughts…I keep telling myself the same thing…’one day’! I’m trying very hard today! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s true. moving on from a breakup is hard, but it’s harder to move on from an unrequited love. I hope you’ll be okay someday, as well…We will be (we SHALL), when the right time comes. 🙂

      Like

  10. I really liked your post. Definitely felt like I could relate to your letters. When I read the prompt I had a similar thought process, and I like your approach. I think that these “honest and real” posts are the hardest for me to write, so thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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