25th August, 2014. 11:00am
You know that feeling when you just want everyone else to leave you alone but they all keep pulling you back to Wonderland? Okay, so I’m just feeling really cranky right now, and part of it’s because my nose is itching again and that I have been sneezing for the last 30 minutes, but today is just one of those days when I wish I’m alone at home right now. Everyone is just so annoyingly annoying today.
Lately I’ve been kinda out of myself again. I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling kinda off these past few days and it’s weird because 15 minutes ago I know exactly what to write but now that I’m here, it’s like all thoughts went haywire. I just don’t know what else to write anymore…
Which sucks, because there’s something about freedom I really want to write about.
Freedom. I guess that about sums up my life. Hunger for freedom. I know I should be thankful that I have my siblings but sometimes, I feel like that’s not good enough. I don’t know.
This morning I find myself searching for symptoms of depression. I don’t know why exactly, but like I said, I’ve been feeling kinda off lately. I’m not suicidal or anything, but there are just times when I feel really… lonely, I guess. I don’t know. I feel like such a fucking prisoner here at home. Sometimes I wish I could orb myself to a place where only I knows; to think; recuperate; really rest my mind. But Sigmund Freud once said, and I truly believe this is true:
So is it depression I really feel or am I actually just being surrounded by assholes? Truth be told, I believe it’s the latter. Then again, it’s the latter why I’m feeling cranky these days. If only I could blow them up to pieces a la Piper Halliwell.
PS: Sorry if this is such a downer post on a Monday morning. Hope everyone’s day isn’t as sucky as how mine is going.